The holiday season is here – and many people who are struggling with infertility are feeling dread rather than excitement—or maybe a combination of the two. The prospect of attending family and social gatherings packed with babies and young children and/or pregnant women is can be very daunting. For many, the profound disappointment of not being pregnant (or having a child) by now can be overwhelming. And that’s appropriate, very appropriate. In fact, you may want to limit the number of events you attend or limit the amount of time you spend at various parties and get-togethers during the next two months.
But especially during the holidays when you’re surrounded by kids and happy families, it’s all too easy to get focused on what you don’t have and to overlook what you do have. Reminding yourself of those things can improve your outlook and uplift your mood dramatically.
Here are 10 things to be grateful for right now:
1. The People in Your Life Who really Do Understand What You’re Going through
This might be a new friend you met through an infertility support group or an old friend who, although she hasn’t been through infertility herself is an amazingly compassionate person. It might be your sister– who can see how much distress you are in and can listen to you and not give too much unsolicited advice. It could also be a co-worker who has been there, done that- and is always sympathetic. Or maybe it’s one of your nurses or doctors who really “gets it.”
Kim Kluger-Bell, LMFT
Kim Kluger-Bell is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She consults with major fertility clinics nationwide and provides counseling and assessments for egg donors, gestational carriers and patients using these procedures. She is the author of Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Infertility and Abortion, as well as a series of books for donor conceived children entitled The Pea That Was Me and a surrogacy series called The Very Kind Koala.
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