surrogacy?anyone?

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Hello everyone! I need your advice. I had placental abruption in the past. Doctors had to remove fetus along with the uterus. We were ttc for 6 years before I’ve got pregnant. We had so much hope that finally we’ll become parents! We’ve lost our baby on 7th month of pregnancy. Also I’ve lost my fertility and there no chance for us to conceive any more. 2 years had already past but we didn’t recover from our loss yet. Is it even possible to forget such pain?

We are looking into surrogacy. To be honest, I’m not sure if we can think about it. I feel like I’m betraying my child… My husband says it will help us to keep living and stop our suffering. Maybe he’s right… I deepen myself into search and try not to think about my pain. I hope you’ll help me to clear surrogacy process.

I read many comments on different forums. Some of you, girls, chose Europe, some of you chose America. I’m lost and I have no idea which of these variants will suit us. We are from Finland so there is no way for us to have this procedure here. I’m more into USA. Prices for surrogacy are very high there. But I think that’s not without purpose. This fact shows that there is high guarantee of success, am I right? They ask for such high price because they know what to do and how gain good result. We don’t have $150 000 to pay right away. I think we’ll have to take a loan. We have no one to borrow this money. I think this is not so great sacrifice for our goal, right? My husband says it’s better to go to Europe. Prices are much lower and services are the same. But I think if prices are small than possibility of procedure to be successful is small as well. What are your thoughts? It will be really helpful if you share your experiences.

 

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I’m so sorry about your loss. I’ve also lost my baby. I know exactly how it feels. It’s impossible to forget this, but surrogacy soothed our pain. I don’t regret I choose this option. You don’t betray your baby! Don’t think about this in such way. It’s not your fault you’ve lost your child. There are situations in life we can’t control. You should stop suffering! Your husband has a point here. This procedure and parenting will help you to soothe your pain, believe me. I was confused too. I didn’t know which country to choose. There are many clinics all over the world. Reviews and prices differ. That’s why it’s hard to choose. First of all I want to say that high price is not a guarantee of positive result as well as low price is not a guarantee of failure. Moreover, not a single clinic gives 100% guarantee that the procedure will be successful. Anyway, you should pay attention what rates of successful treatments do clinics have. There are many websites with lists of clinics where you can find this info.

Your husband is right about Europe. You should think about your future and future of your kid as well. You’ll have to spend so much money for a baby. It will be really hard for you to pay back debt at the same time. Here on this forum you can find names of all tested clinics and also their prices. You can ask girls everything you need. I’m sure they will help you! I will also be glad to help. Good luck! I hope you’ll find the best option for you)

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