For Men

5 Things You Should Never Say at a Party

5 Things You Should Never Say at a Party

Why are people’s reproductive choices or family situations considered open game for small talk? As a fertility doctor, patients talk to me about this all the time. While they are struggling to complete their family with fertility treatments they are bombarded with questions from family, friends, and even strangers about their reproductive plans and choices. As a woman, I have been asked inappropriate questions from well-meaning strangers (assume best intentions), but enough already!

Just in case you can’t figure this out on your own or you know someone who just doesn’t get it – here are 5 things you should never say to someone else as small talk:

Prev1 of 5Next
Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse

Trying To Conceive, IVF Support

1. “When are you having kids?”

The answer is: none of your business.  The person you just asked that question to could be on round 3 of IVF treatments, could have premature menopause (no more eggs left), or a partner who is shooting blanks (no sperm). That person could have just got their period after the two week wait from their 5th intrauterine insemination that morning. That person could have just gotten notice that their adoption process that was going smoothly just failed. Or that person could have decided that a child free life is the right choice for them and that’s okay. No matter what – it’s none of your business.

Lora Shahine, MD
Physician at | + posts

Dr. Lora Shahine, joined Pacific NW Fertility after completing her fellowship in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at Stanford University. During her time at Stanford, Dr. Shahine served as a Clinical Instructor in the department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, contributed several research publications in women’s health and infertility, and trained in one of the few Centers for Recurrent Pregnancy Loss in the United States.

Click to add a comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in For Men

couples support

Why We Need To Praise The Good Guys

DanaJanuary 14, 2018
Male Infertility

Miscarriage Changed My Life: A Father’s Story

CoreyJanuary 10, 2017
men's health, sperm health, trynig to conceive, infertility

Behind Every Egg Is A Sperm

Dr. Paul J. TurekSeptember 12, 2016
sperm, male fertility evaluation

Why Men Should Get A Semen Analysis

Tamara Tobias, ARNPJune 2, 2016
Support for men, infertility, advice

5 Ways To Help Cope With Male Infertility

Joanna Flemons, MSW, LCSW, CPCMay 25, 2016
Male Infertility

Suffering In Silence: Why Your Partner Needs Support Too

Kim Kluger-Bell, LMFTMay 19, 2016

Talking Fertility is a resource and community for people who are trying to conceive. Whether you're just starting out or you're having fertility struggles - our goal is to provide place that's supportive, informative and helpful in maintaining your physical and mental health while you pursue your family goals.

Please contact us with questions, comments, stories or anything else you'd like to share. We look forward to hearing from you!

Copyright © 2017 Talking Fertility *** Information and statements are made for education purposes and are NOT intended to replace the advice of your doctor. Talking Fertility does not dispense medical advice, prescribe, or diagnose illnesses. The views and advice expressed on Talking Fertility are not in any way intended to be a substitute for medical service. If you have health concerns or a medical condition, contact your physician.